An Inexpensive and Effective Alarm System

In this day and age we just need to protect oursevles. I have been doing extensive research on alarm sytems, how effective, how expensive, etc. I came up with the perfect system. Feel free to use my idea. I know it will work. Please evaluate and make any suggestions for improvement. Please tell me what you think!! 1. Go to a second-hand store and buy 2 pairs of men's boots used size 14- 16 work boots. 2. Place them on your front and back porch, along with a copy of Guns & Ammo magazine and your NRA magazines. 3. Put a few giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazine. 4. Leave a note on the back and front doors that reads: Hey Bubba, Big Jim, Duke and Slim, I went for more ammunition. Back in an hour. Don't mess with the pit bulls - they attacked the mailman this morning and messed him up real bad. I don't think Killer took part in it but it was hard to tell from all the blood. Anyway, I locked all four of 'em in the house. Better wait outside.